


Snerky

by darksquirrel



Series: The LTLF Universe [3]
Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 03:34:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2373023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darksquirrel/pseuds/darksquirrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick stops by the Spice Shop with a serious question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snerky

**_WARNINGS:_** Snerky, Nick being sneaky for a good cause, German from an online translator, cuteness.

**_NOTES: :_** Takes place about halfway through Chapter 2 of Lost That Loving Feeling.

 

**_Klu said: :_ … PLEASE update soon so I can find out what was in the packages Nick gave to Monroe and Rosalee and what they gave to him... :**

I got half of it anyway.

**_And Bookqueen604 asked:_ Did Monroe try the rattlesnake jerky? Inquiring minds want to know!**

Well….

 

() () ()

 

Today the Spice Shop smelled like basil and peppermint and something astringent and sharp. The bell rang as Nick closed the door and somewhere in the back Rosalee called out, “Be right there!”

“It’s just me,” Nick called back as he brushed rain off his jacket before he moved deeper into the store. He paused on his way to the back room to look at the row of pictures on the wall. There were several of the store and the street but none newer than several decades and at least one remodel ago.

He’d dropped off his Christmas presents to Rosalee and Monroe at the framers this morning. A black and white, ink drawing he’d done of the Spice Shop as it looked now for Rosalee and a similar drawing of Monroe’s house but with the stained-glass wolf done in colored alcohol markers. They’d both turned out rather good he thought and he hoped they thought so as well.

“Hi,” Rosalee said, wiping her hands on a towel as she emerged. She had her hair pulled up into a tidy bun and was wearing an apron that had seen a lot of use.

A timer went off somewhere in the depths of the store.

“Come on into the back,” Rosalee said, “I need to turn off the burner.”

The kitchen was steamy and full of sharp smells, the windows fogged up and the table overflowing with jars and bags and bottles. He recognized dried basil and peppermint and what looked like stinging nettles.

A couple months into Nick’s rookie year as a detective, Hank had stumbled into a patch of nettles at a crime scene in a vacant lot. It had been a learning experience; he’d never heard some of the words that came out of his new partner’s mouth as he drove Hank to the nearest drug store, lights and sirens full blast.

A huge ceramic pot sat on a hot plate on the counter, simmering gently. Nick eyed it warily, nose warning him not to get too close. “What’s in the pot?”

“I’m making _der juckreiz entferner_.”

Nick looked at her blankly.

“Anti-itch ointment,” she elaborated. “Mostly for poison oak and bug bites. I like to get it made up in the slow times so when Spring hits I’m ready.” She shut off the hot plate and gave the pot a stir with a long-handled wooden spoon. “Next week I’m making bug repellant.”

“Do you make a lot of your own stuff?” he asked curiously. He’d seen the little refrigerator under the counter that held tins and jars and plastic tubs of thing with names he couldn’t pronounce.

“Not as much as we used to,” she said. “There are a lot of new organic herbal remedies you can buy over the counter for people like Monroe who are sensitive to the chemicals and fragrances found in most regular products.” She gave the pot one more stir and put the lid on. “But there are some recipes specifically for certain species. I have enough local customers to make it worthwhile to brew up a batch now and then.”

“You don’t have a super powered flea remedy do you?”

Rosalee blinked and looked at him suspiciously. “You’re _not_ planning on giving it to Monroe for Christmas are you?”

Nick laughed in delight at the very idea. “No, but _that_ is an awesome idea.”

“Oh no, I am not being a party to any such thing.”

He shook his head, still chuckling a little. “Juliette has a lot of pet owners who don’t like the chemical options for flea and tick medicine. She was always looking for something herbal that actually worked.”

“ _That_ I might be able to help with,” Rosalee said. She began packing away the plants laid out on the counter. “How are you doing with that anyway? Moving out has to have been hard.”

Nick shrugged. “With the amnesia situation, it feels like we’ve been broken up for awhile now.”

“Does that make it easier?”

“Not a bit.”

She pulled on a pair of heavy leather gloves to deal with the nettles. “It’s been so long since I broke up with a guy I actually cared about I can’t even give you advice.”

“That’s okay Hank has more than enough advice to pick up the slack.” And he was _more_ than happy to share it. “Getting back to Monroe though….” Nick produced a Ziploc baggie from his pocket. “I know he eats fish sometimes, but do you think his vegetarianism extends to snakes?”

She gave him a weird look and a cocked eyebrow and shoved a handful of nettles back into their box. “Do I even want to know why you’re asking that?”

“Hank came back from his vacation with a ton of his Grandma’s snake jerky.” He shook the bag at her. “Want some?”

“Um…no thanks.”

“It’s goooood,” he said persuasively. It was weirdly addictive and he was spending way too much of his day snacking on it. Thankfully it was almost gone.

“Uh huh,” she said dubiously. “You’d have to ask him, but I think Monroe tends to avoid meat that was traditionally hunted by blutbaden. Cow, deer, pig, that sort of thing. Snake would probably be safe.”

Nick took a moment to imagine a woged-out Monroe stalking one of those giant pythons they showed on Animal Planet. From the look on Rosalee’s face she was doing the same.

“Alrighty then.” He shook the bag enticingly at her one more time, chuckling at the face she made. “I’ll swing by his place on the way home."

“You can leave it here if you want,” Rosalee said with a sigh. “I’m sure he’ll be by any time.”

Nick smiled at the aggravation in her voice. “Still hovering like a UFO over a cow pasture, huh?” He’d been on the receiving end of Monroe’s worried hovering. You couldn’t be annoyed with the guy for caring but sometimes you _really_ wanted to.

“Like you wouldn’t _believe_ ,” Rosalee said.

“You want me to distract him this afternoon,” he offered. He was still on vacation and had no pressing plans for later today.

“Would you? I know he’ll let up sooner or later, but I really need to get this finished so I can focus on the cleaning list tomorrow and Monroe’s help is sometimes…not so helpful.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Nick promised, silently vowing to come by tomorrow to help with the cleaning.

She gripped his forearm hard. “You’ll be my hero.”

“Consider it done. I’ll swing by his place right now.” He pulled out his phone as he left the store, hitting speed dial number 5. “Hey, Monroe, are you at home right now.”

“Yessssss,” Monroe said warily.

“Good I’m headed over.”

“Whyyyyyy?”

“I’ve got something for you. And I was going to ask if you wanted to come by the trailer with me for a little research time.” There was little Monroe loved more than poking through the Grimm books and artifacts.

“Sure,” Monroe said eagerly. “Oh no, wait, I was going to see Rosa—”

“I’m on my way over right now,” Nick ruthlessly talked over top of him. “See you soon.” He hung up before the other man could get another word out.

Monroe would try to back out but Nick was confident he could talk him into it. Soften him up with a little snerky jerky, mention how good Monroe was at translating, hint that he was feeling a little lonely what with the break up and all. And if all else failed he’d break out what Juliette deemed his pitiful puppy eyes.

He didn’t like to use them indiscriminately, fearing overuse would diminish their effectiveness, but for Rosalee he'd do it. 

Nick grinned to himself. Monroe didn’t stand a chance.

 

The End


End file.
